I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
