I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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