I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
