the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
