Say something about gay babies.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
