nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
