Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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