Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
