you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i already hear my dad disowning me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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