i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
