I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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