goodnight i made you a song goodbye
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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