I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
