Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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