i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
high people should be assigned attendants
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
