connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
