yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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