when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
