I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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