I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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