Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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