Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
