whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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