why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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