i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
