I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
