i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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