I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
