That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
