Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
