Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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