I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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