The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
