You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
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He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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