yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
