pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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