I wanna bring you to show and tell
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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