If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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