Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
