Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
