I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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