Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
