This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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