she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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