i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
