you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
