Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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