I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize