Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
