i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
