alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
