it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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