I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
