He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
