my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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