it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
