Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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