Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
