New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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