Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
