jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
