also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
