On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize