I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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