To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
